reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
