Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize