Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
