Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
