The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
