TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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