Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
