Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
