really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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