i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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