can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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