okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
you never un-have a 4some
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize