it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Do vagina's smell?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
