Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
