i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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