I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
