when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just want nice things and good sex
whose parrot is this?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize