I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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