people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
