May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
