I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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