I don't think brook has ever known best
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
