I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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