if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
did i walk over a car last night?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
