i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize