Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
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