I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It's official drugs can't kill me
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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