I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
