quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
