like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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