I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
