nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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