I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
