brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
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