He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
