I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
