if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
