so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Randomize
