Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
