the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
