Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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