Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize