You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
