she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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