This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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