Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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