Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
