Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
