Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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