Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
