At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
