We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
