the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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