yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
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