I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
