i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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