During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just high enough for therapy.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
