there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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