So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
