Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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