just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
